Don't Get Your Menopause On Me
Not talking about it doesn't make it go away. It does the opposite.
Hi Friends,
I debated calling this post something more refined, but let’s face it, Don’t Get Your Menopause All Over Me was the exact thought that used to run through my head whenever someone brought up menopause in conversation. It’s cringy, I know, but it’s honest. I’d smile politely, nod, and internally think, “This doesn’t apply to me,” or worse, “Please keep your menopause drama to yourself.” So here we are. Yes, we’re going there—Menopause. Or, more accurately for me, perimenopause, because that’s where I am (and have been, apparently, for a while).
Menopause is having a moment, and it’s about time. Only recently have I realized just how vital this conversation is—not just for me, but for everyone. And spoiler alert: it’s just getting started.
But let’s back up. Until not too long ago, I was blissfully ignorant about menopause. I thought it was a few hot flashes, some mood swings, and maybe a little wild yam cream à la Samantha Jones in Sex and the City. I thought you’d grit your teeth, power through, and then—poof—your period disappears, and life marches on.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
One reason I was so oblivious is that I never had a front-row seat to menopause. My mom passed away when I was 23; she was just 47. A lot of women first encounter menopause by watching their mothers go through it, or at least have sisters to swap stories with. I didn’t have that. I didn’t realize how much I was missing until it was too late.
When things started happening to me, I had no idea they were connected to perimenopause. I dismissed them as stress or just life. At least everyone else around me did. I actually thought I was going crazy - which sounds self-deprecating, but in reality is very isolating. Crippling anxiety, panic attacks, and a sense of unease crept up on me, changing how I moved through the world. Twice, I ended up in the ER because the advice nurse wanted to rule out a heart attack. Nope, my heart was fine. I was just “stressed.” They sent me home with zero insight or guidance.
Then came the overstimulation—noise became my nemesis. Two people talking at once? Overwhelming. Persistent sounds? Torture. Small noises? A personal assault. These things weren’t just annoying; they changed me. I sat down several time with my son and apologized for being out of sorts and easily agitated and distracted. I apologized a lot.
I felt so much shame around these symptoms. For years, I didn’t connect the dots to my hormones changing.
It wasn’t until about 18 months ago, when I watched a close friend go through similar changes, that it all clicked. Watching her transition felt like holding up a mirror to my own experience. Suddenly, I could see what was happening to me. My mantra became, “The perimenopausal woman in me sees the perimenopausal woman in you. Namaste, sister.”
Through her journey and my own, I began to understand the women around me in a new way. A veil lifted. I felt both guilty for my previous dismissiveness and grateful for the clarity I was finally gaining.
I wish I’d listened sooner. I wish someone had sat me down and explained what could be in store. But I also know I avoided the conversation—because I was scared. Scared of aging, scared of change, and scared of what I didn’t understand.
The problem with menopause is that it’s sneaky. It doesn’t announce itself with a grand entrance; it tiptoes in and shape-shifts, leaving you to wonder what’s happening. There’s no one-size-fits-all timeline, no universal guidebook.
That’s why I’m hosting a screening of the menopause documentary The M Factor at Beauty Heroes. This idea was sparked by my friend Emily, a Menopause Life Coach. One night, she invited me over to watch The M Factor, and what should have been a one-hour documentary turned into a two-hour (plus tears) pause-fest as we swapped stories and tried to process what we were seeing.
How did we not know this was coming? Why is there no education around this monumental life shift?
That night, we knew we had to do something. Hosting this event together felt like the perfect way to get this vital conversation started. The M Factor is a fantastic primer—it’s short, packed with expert insights, and features a range of experiences—but it’s just that: a starting point.
The real magic happens in the conversations that come after the film. That’s why we’ve organized a panel discussion with Emily, OB/GYN Dr. Anat Sapana, pelvic specialist Dr. Tanya Goodrich, and Sachi Singh, Founder of Rootless. Together, we hope to create a safe space for honest conversations that empower women to talk openly about menopause—with their doctors, friends, family, and anyone else who needs to hear it.
Planning this event has been deeply personal for me. Knowledge is power, and community is comfort. Feeling seen has stripped away layers of shame and replaced them with self-acceptance.
If you’re in the Northern California Bay Area, I’d love for you to join us on January 16, 2025—because no one should have to go through this in the dark.
Hero On!
Jeannie
